what's next?

as many of you guys should know by now, 1st of march was the results day for A'Levels graduates. on that morning, i woke up to notice a big pile of flyers and mailers on my table. they're all advertisements for various universities and institutions.

business sure brisked up for printing companies.

i realised i have yet to open ANY of them. why? because i see no point in doing so. i know i've screwed up my A'Levels since my Maths Papers are over. ironically, it happens to be my 1st A'Levels Paper.

a blow to the crotch for me.

i was shattered after the paper. a number of people know it.

only dear seen it.

my primary concern then was how my parents will take it. now i know how they took it.
they were used to me doing quite okay academically.

primary four streaming....

PSLE....

O'Levels....

but this.

this wasnt what they were used to.
"what? not even a single pass?"
bull's-eye. simple as that. i didnt even manage a single pass.
ZERO. NIL. ZILCH.
yes, for those who have problems understanding the results slip, it shows that i've got grades OOF for my 3 A'Levels subjects. and C5 for my english.

i expected to do better for some subjects. i know i did put in effort.
but as the saying goes, "too little too late..."

funny how leong put it. "no matter how mentally prepared you are for bad grades, it's always different when you ACTUALLY get it.."

i laughed it off. this words i mean.

ms tan and ms faizah were both present to complete the coup de grace of my formal education.
pity it went down in flames. i let alot of people down. they are two of the many.

one by one, i called up those i disappoint. mum, sis, jie, dad and my tution teacher mr lau.
each phonecall more painful than the previous.
each words more difficult to spell out to them.

i wanted to break down and cry my guts out.
but i know i dont have the privilege of tears.
they are meant for winners and people who tried.


i'm neither.

sidenote:
thanks to all those who have express their concern.
thanks to leong n jie who accompanied me.
sorry to all those i didnt response or reply your messages.

dear, thanks for being by my side.
i know you aint feeling too good about your results too.
sorry i didnt do much to help.
sorry for being selfish.